Category Archives: Frivolity

Homer’s Monday Post-Bye Week Wrap Up

USA Today Sports/Mark J. Rebilas photo

by Homer J. 

Christmas came early for Homer this past week.

The Poo-pourri he ordered from QVC arrived. That’s the stuff in the spray bottle that you spritz in the toilet before you do your business, and it makes it smell like lemongrass. Actually, speaking of lemongrass, it makes your business smell better than some Thai restaurants Homer has frequented on a single occasion.

There’s a holiday connection here, as one of the four spray bottles is called Santa Poo, and the bottle says it is a delightful blend of “holly, evergreen, and citrus.” So it’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas when Homer wallows in his own crapulence.  Read more

The Bye Week Pro Bowl: Best Comments from the 2015 Season

The Bye Week is a time of great restlessness in Steeler Nation. Especially in a year with a late bye, we’re either wanting to get the season over with so we can start talking about the draft (very uncommon,) we are frantically calculating play-off scenarios (standard,) or are already collecting recipes for our Super Bowl parties to cheer the Steelers to victory. (That would be steeler fever)

Unlike Patriots fans, complacency doesn’t seem to be warranted until after the AFC Championship Game is won for Steeler fans. If then.

We need some fun things to get us through this interminable week, and our writers need a break too. So I’ve decided to let you all do the heavy lifting. I have chosen some of my favorite comments from this season. At the end of the article you have the opportunity to vote for your favorites, and we will declare the champion afterwards. If you can choose. I like them all. The numbering is strictly reverse chronological.

And, lest you are wondering, like the Pro Bowl, the prize is pretty much just bragging rights. But if you like I’ll throw in a free one-year subscription to this site : )

Today’s category, since this is supposed to be fun, is just that:

Category I: Amusing, Ironic, or Just Plain Funny

Read more

Steelers Rock the League Once Again By Rocking the Bumblebee Unis

via accessatlanta.com

Almost exactly three years ago, I published an article on BTSC about the then newly-introduced throwback uniforms. Here is how it began:

In a hard-hitting piece of uniform-related journalism, Phil Hecken of Uni-Watch reveals the questionable historical basis for the “1934” throwbacks. In a patient unravelling of the evidence trail, including a trip to the Pennsylvania State Library in Harrisburg, Hecken reveals the uniforms were first worn not in 1934 but in 1933. 

Hecken’s evidence is based upon viewing the microfilm collection of Pittsburgh newspaper photos of games in 1933 and 1934. According to Hecken, the unis were only worn once in a game, in November of 1933. (They were also worn in a team photo in 1934.) The game was vs. Brooklyn, and the Pittsburgh (football) Pirates were beaten 32-0. Thank heavens I didn’t know this before last Sunday’s game—I would have been even more of a wreck than I was. 

But, shocking as this presumably deliberate misinformation is, the scandal doesn’t stop there. According to Hecken’s evidence, the number blocks actually had a yellow background rather than a white one. Although the Steelers facility displays a jersey purporting to be from 1934 with white number blocks, its authenticity has not been confirmed. Will the deceit never end?

If you like people who are really thorough, click on the link. The article goes into minute detail about the originals.

Needless to say, my article was satirical (or ironic, which sounds more mature but less literary.) I thought it was time to revisit the issue, since our eyes will once again be assaulted by the brilliant coloring of the dubiously authentic ’34 throwbacks. Read more

The Good Guys – Tight Ends and Centers

via Post-Gazette/ UPI: Steve Yakub photo

In this edition of “The Good Guys,” I choose my favorite tight ends and centers.  While these positions don’t exactly exude glamour, this installment features four dedicated and hardworking guys who I admire.

TIGHT ENDS

No. 2.  Randy Grossman

This pick was more difficult than most.  I always liked Randy Grossman.  It wasn’t the out and out Steeler bromance I have with Lambert and Deebo (hey, if your name is Roxanna, you can handle the heat), but I liked him well enough. Although he was primarily a backup to Benny Cunningham, his great hands made him a solid contributor to the Super Bowl teams of the 1970s.  Grossman played eight seasons, from 1974 to 1981.  His most celebrated play was catching a touchdown pass from Terry Bradshaw in Super Bowl X against the Cowboys. I selected Randy as my backup tight end, however, based on more arbitrary and esoteric criteria.

Grossman was an undrafted free agent in the days when undrafted really meant something. During the seventeen rounds of the 1973 NFL draft, 442 players were chosen, but Grossman was not among them.  The Steelers signed him the day after the draft for $15,000, the rookie minimum salary.  This year, the rookie minimum is $435,000. Read more

Bonus Feature: 27 Ways to Be a Real Man

via Yahoo Sports—Brett Keisel is definitely a Real Man, as only a Real Man would arrive at Training Camp in a tractor…

This is not a typical post for us, but in terms of “going deep” it is about as thorough as you can get.

It was sent to me by one of my son-in-laws, but he didn’t write it.

The original is from the New York Times, and is titled  27 Ways to Be a Modern Man. The appended comments are by my son-in-law’s brother, which I suppose makes him my son-in-law once removed, or nephew-in-law, or I don’t know, family relationships can be pretty confusing in Missouri…

The NY Times article begins by noting the standards of etiquette have changed in the modern age, but the modern man will “take the bits from the past that strike him as relevant and blend them with the stuff of today.”

1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

1) A Real Man knows the only mistake larger than shopping for women’s shoes, is depriving his wife of the chance to shop. He just knows better! 

2. The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.

2) When a Real Man’s confidence has sunk, he merely ramps up his normal level of narcissistic remarks and showboating. This usually results in personal injury and/or embarrassment, but certainly puts things in perspective. Read more

Punt-off: the Pittsburgh Steelers Roster Competition

via FoxSports

Considering the difficulties the Steelers have had in securing an “above-the-line” punter, the current roster battle must be heartening to the coaching staff. (n.b. All quotes in the article will be Tomlinisms. Obviously.)

A native of Melbourne, Australia, Brad Wing was signed in 2014 to compete for a roster spot. He had a rather colorful college career. His last two years at Louisiana State University he averaged 44.6 yards per punt, a school record. He also had a touchdown nullified for taunting, enforcing a new NCAA rule, was issued a misdemeanor summons on a charge of battery, and was suspended from the Chick-fil-A Bowl for a violation of team rules. Read more

A quick and somewhat irreverent look at Guard David DeCastro

via Steelers.com

by Rebecca Rollett

When David DeCastro fell to the Steelers in the 2012 draft at Pick #24 in the first round, the reaction around Steeler Nation was everything from pleased to seriously ecstatic.

This was probably best expressed by the commentor who said “We got a pony for Christmas!!!!!” I think there may have been some other words in there, too, but that was the gist of it.

While guards do not typically get drafted in the first round, at least by the Steelers, the general feeling was that this was a special case, potentially a once-in-a-generation player. Charged at Stanford with protecting Andrew Luck, with whom he is still close, DeCastro was someone for whom many Steeler fans had pined during the run-up to the draft, but never thought they would see in a Steelers uniform. Read more

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