by Homer J.
“Can’t act. Can’t sing. Can dance a little.”
That’s how the guy who gave Fred Astaire his Hollywood screen test rated the greatest hoofer of all time. Debussy’s timeless “Clair de Lune” was described as “ugly to the ears,” by the most respected Parisian critic of the time. “Fiddler on the Roof” was described as “nothing special” by the Variety stringer who reviewed its off-Broadway opening. And Rex Reed and most of the other jerks who review movies panned the greatest movie of all time, “A Christmas Story.” (They just hated producer Bob Clark, because he did those Porkys movies and Reed would never know what to do with a Red Ryder BB gun, anyway).
But my favorite review of all time was Vito Stellino’s review of the Pittsburgh Steelers 1974 draft in the Post-Gazette.
“The Steelers seem to have come out of the first five rounds of the draft appreciably strengthened at wide receiver but nowhere else. They didn’t get a tight end. They didn’t get a punter. They didn’t get an offensive tackle who might’ve shored up what could well become a weakness. What they did get was Swann, who seems to be a sure-pop to help; Lambert, who figures to be the No. 5 linebacker if he pans out; and three question marks.”
Guess he didn’t think much of that Stallworth kid or that 5th round pick out of Wisconsin, Mike Webster. Unquestionably the greatest draft of all time, with four future Hall of Famers, but one of the top football writers in the country wasn’t at all impressed. Read more