Hombre de Acero is still wandering the world, so you all are going to have to make do with more Spluttering Questions this week. Not but what the questions would be fairly spluttery anyhow after the Massacre at Heinz Field. So without further ado:
1. Anybody with a smartphone and the ability to look up a few stats was aware that the Jaguars, while possessing what Ike Taylor declared two weeks ago was the best corner tandem in the league, were not very impressive against the run. That would lead simple folk like some of us to think the Steelers would, well, run the ball. Le’Veon Bell had fifteen carries. Why do you think this is? No profanity, please…
2. James Harrison was a supposedly unhealthy scratch in Baltimore. He was a healthy scratch in Pittsburgh. How soon do you expect to see him on the field, and how mad do you think he will be?
3. Mike Tomlin is not known for wasting challenges. When he does challenge a play he usually wins. Neither challenge last Sunday looked at all promising, and indeed all he did was lose 1/3 of his timeouts. Why do you think he challenged those plays, particularly the second one? Was it sheer desperation, or something more rational?
4. Time to look ahead to next Sunday, when a brighter day will dawn. Except for the fact that the Steelers have to travel to the noisiest stadium in the NFL and play the only remaining undefeated team, on national television. Is there anything you can think of which gives you any hope for a happier outcome than last week?
And finally, with apologies to Hombre:
5. You get a phone call with a 412 area code. You pick it up and are asked to hold for Coach Tomlin. He says hello and then gives you 60 seconds to tell him one thing you would do to improve the offense. He notes that just saying “run the damn ball” is not helpful. Could you give him one specific tweak, either in personnel or scheme, which doesn’t involve anyone not currently on the team or staff?
I completely understand if you’re too depressed to answer these. As you can tell, I’m not over that game either. But if you can bring yourself to pick up your No. 2 pencil, I would be very interested to hear what you have to say. Otherwise, class dismissed…