I have a confession to make before we go any further here—I haven’t actually watched the game. And my son Adrian, who did, suggests that I might want to keep it that way. But not having actually watched the game certainly doesn’t prevent me from panicking. After all, the Steelers lost to the Browns!
Technically speaking, they didn’t exactly lose. A tie is what you make of it—half a win or half a loss. It’s one of those personality tests. But given all of the local pre-game commentary about how despite the depth and talent of the roster the Browns have managed to accumulate, they will find ways to lose, it surely counts as even more than half a loss.
And to once again speak technically, given that the Steelers were leading 21-7 in the fourth quarter, despite Ben being apparently determined to get all of his picks over with for the entire season in this game, perhaps this is more than half a loss. But even a cursory look at what actually happened in the game makes it pretty clear that the Browns’ defense, led by about 24 top-of-the-first-round picks, made life pretty miserable for the Steelers’ offense, or at least any member of the Steelers’ offense not named James Conner. At least up until a member of the Browns’ defense made Conner cough up the ball for the lone takeaway of the six not involving Ben. (To be fair, at least one of the five is definitely on Jesse James. Or so I gather.)
I will briefly pause to explain why I haven’t actually watched the game. I am in New Mexico visiting my aged mother. We were sitting in church when the game started, and I was shopping to stock her refrigerator, which was filled mainly with condiments when I arrived late Saturday night, while it was winding down to its painful conclusion. Thus virtue was its own reward, because I was spared yet another traumatic experience.
Will I ever watch the game? Let us draw a veil over this question, and return to our regularly scheduled program. After all, just because I don’t know what I’m talking about shouldn’t stop me from having firm, even hysterical, opinions on the matter.
So what have we learned? Here are some things:
- Chris Boswell is human after all.
- The Steeler defense looks better when they haven’t been on the field the entire game.
- And perhaps the Steeler defense looks better than anyone thought they would, even if, like Chris Boswell, they are human, and eventually get tired.
- Maybe Ben should play more in the preseason.
- Maybe part of Le’Veon Bell’s greatness can be attributed to Mike Munchak and his Merry Men.
- Sometimes stuff happens.
Now that I’ve tried to make a silk purse, perhaps we should stare the sow’s ear right in the face. A lot of people laughed when CBS Sports picked the Ravens to win the division this year. And maybe they shouldn’t have. It’s only one game, but 47-3 (Ravens/Bills) is a trifle alarming. Especially with Joe Flacco apparently looking like he’s remembered how to quarterback again. And it’s annoying that the Bengals won as well, thus having the Steelers begin the season in a hole. But from all accounts it is a hole they deserve to be in.
The thing about adversity is, it can get you down or it can provide a much-needed reality check (or kick in the pants, according to taste.) Let’s hope that reality check is the start of 15-0 from here on out. I’m scarcely counting on it, mind you. Even before today that would have been rather delusional. After today it’s delusional, period.
More to the point, as far as I’m concerned, perhaps it will cause the team to focus on the actual matter at hand and drop all the dramatics. As fascinating as the past few seasons have been, perhaps some plain old blue collar workmanlike attitude emanating from more of the locker room than Cameron Heyward would be welcome. Give it a try, guys. It surely has to work out better than the current plan.
If you’re wondering why there’s no picture, I think it’s better that way. Let’s push the reset button, and Go, Steelers.